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The Potato Chronicles


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CorvusCorvax #1 Posted 25 June 2022 - 10:52 PM

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As the Prince of Potatoes, I have a fine eye and keen ear for the moldy spud with whom we fly these days.  Tell me your stories of jaw-dropping incompetence - send videos, whatever.  I'll start....

 

I was flying my Attacker, and was pitted against a team with a specialized EF-131, IL-40, and specialized F-86A.  Our humans were a specialized EF-131, Me-P.1099B2, and myself.

Have you ever seen a German GAA chasing after ADA and bot MRF?  Sure, so have I - at T4.  Never at Tier IX/X.  I was stunned that this guy, at the end of the battle, had more air damage than ground damage.  Maybe he was playing potato on purpose, but "wut the actual eff, bruh?"  We got lucky, because the F-86A pilot ignored me three times too many, and got himself kilt.  He was fully 1/3 of my kills for the battle.

I guess that's a two-potatoes-for-one-low-price kind of story.  My EF-131 pilot had all the skills, and we squeaked out a win, mostly thanks to his ability to one-pass mining plants, and a tiny part my ability to defend the one command center that needed to be defended.

So, let's have it, peeps - Potato Time!
 


Edited by CorvusCorvax, 25 June 2022 - 10:53 PM.

I might not be King of the Hill, but I am the Prince of Potatoes.

Captain_Underpants53 #2 Posted 26 June 2022 - 02:22 AM

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Lordy, where to start?  The true taters are now found in mass gaggles on the upper tiers.  It's like Gump and his box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get.

 

I guess my (not) favorites are the guys who, even with thousands of battles, persist in trying to take out all the ground targets with their light fighter instead of shooting airplanes.  I always wonder how many times in real life has he shut the car door on his fingers before he learned better?


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ItsSubmersible #3 Posted 26 June 2022 - 03:00 AM

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Me whenever I attempt to do ANYTHING in the P47n. I almost feel like putting up a 'Sorry for loss' message when flying it. Someone tell me the rest of that tech tree gets better!

Captain_Underpants53 #4 Posted 26 June 2022 - 03:27 AM

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I just lost a battle where THREE guys flying light fighters and multi roles absolutely refused to defend anything I capped.    Being First in Defeat due to this kind of stoopid gets old.  Doesn't anyone look at their after action report?  If they did, they would know that a third of their score in those two classes comes with defense.  And when we are talking about Military Bases,  CCs, and Mines, it's a great way to lose.
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Four_Leaf_Tayback #5 Posted 26 June 2022 - 03:55 AM

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The past few days have been frustrating, I will agree. I could give multiple examples, but the worst one was the map with 3 garrisons in a line and two airfields to the left and right. We got the close garrison and the airfield on the right. So far, so good. But then, my human players just threw themselves into the center garrison time after time after time. I kept asking them to go for the other airfield (because in this situation, getting both would force the enemy team to spawn way away from the battle). Did they comply? Nope, they just kept going to the bug killer light in the center and getting zapped again and again.

 

Big human-on-human battle, like 5v5, but it felt like I was playing with moths attracted to a light that zapped them. 

 

Very frustrating but there are so many more potato situations that I can share, but my time is tokens and I need moar tokens!


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CorvusCorvax #6 Posted 26 June 2022 - 04:20 AM

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View PostItsSubmersible, on 25 June 2022 - 07:00 PM, said:

Me whenever I attempt to do ANYTHING in the P47n. I almost feel like putting up a 'Sorry for loss' message when flying it. Someone tell me the rest of that tech tree gets better!

I find the XP-72 to be an exceptional MRF @T8.  But when you're flying the P-47N, you get to fight a lot of T8 battles, which makes it less fun than if you flew more top tier.  Top tier, the P-47N is a fast, killing, capping machine.


I might not be King of the Hill, but I am the Prince of Potatoes.

Captain_Underpants53 #7 Posted 26 June 2022 - 06:37 AM

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View PostFour_Leaf_Tayback, on 25 June 2022 - 10:55 PM, said:

The past few days have been frustrating, I will agree. I could give multiple examples, but the worst one was the map with 3 garrisons in a line and two airfields to the left and right. We got the close garrison and the airfield on the right. So far, so good. But then, my human players just threw themselves into the center garrison time after time after time. I kept asking them to go for the other airfield (because in this situation, getting both would force the enemy team to spawn way away from the battle). Did they comply? Nope, they just kept going to the bug killer light in the center and getting zapped again and again.

 

Big human-on-human battle, like 5v5, but it felt like I was playing with moths attracted to a light that zapped them. 

 

Very frustrating but there are so many more potato situations that I can share, but my time is tokens and I need moar tokens!

Ah.  True believers in the Church of The Holy Center!  Unless it's something worth while, like a Military Base, CC, or Mining Plant. 

 

I hate maps with a central airbase because way too many fall into the trap of Eternal Life Is Here!  There are two clans from our Southern Neighbors who absolutely adore the Sacred Center Airbase.  Ognoring all else, they flock to it.

 

:facepalm:


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farquare #8 Posted 26 June 2022 - 11:41 AM

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the only one I can think of this morning is one that happens every week at least once.  I fly my IL40P every morning to get my 5 tokens and when there is a human on the other side in any type of fighter they will come after me at full speed at which time I put on the flaps and air-brakes and just wait for the inevitable.  Dias did it yesterday morning when he was in a flight with PH_Sky.  I had asked him to be nice at the start of the battle as I do with any other clan member but he wasn't and he paid for it  hehehe!!!!!

Trauglodyte #9 Posted 26 June 2022 - 12:54 PM

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I find, more often than not, that I'm having to play the role of Atlas lifting the world, on my shoulders.  I don't like it and won't say that happens because I'm awesome - I'm not.  But, it is really pathetic, how people approach this game.  I'm the type of person that, if I'm going to do it, I'm not going to eat a sandwich, browse the 'net on another window, and play at the same time.  I'm going to bring it all, come Hell or high water.  I get that disabilities and age are a thing and that we can't determine who has what or what might be happening, in the background - I had a game, where someone quit moments after the game started because apparently their wife spilled boiling water on herself and I can remember a guildy, back in my WoW days, having to go afk, during a raid on Molten Core (I'm dating myself here) because his roommate set the kitchen on fire.  Short of anything catastrophic happening or having under 25 games played, there shouldn't be an excuse, for the paste eating doorknob humping intelligence failure action that I see happening game after game.  I get people playing LFers and strafing ground targets, in those first handful of games - we've all seen WW2 footage and movies about the war and probably all of us did it hardcore in the beginning (I'm looking at me, here), until we learned.  Beyond that, the excuses dry up and you're left with people who should probably consider a near future career as Soylent Green.

 

EDIT:  Probably a little too harsh but the daily frustration is a thing.  Being better than me shouldn't be a monumental task :medal:


Edited by Trauglodyte, 26 June 2022 - 12:58 PM.


qu33kKC #10 Posted 26 June 2022 - 01:43 PM

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Had a game yesterday with one of our aforementioned Southern Neighbors.  1100 hours in game, 43% win rate.  Can't remember if this was a LFer strafing or not.

 

Had another fellow do almost 9k ground damage in his P-80, but they at least had the excuse of being a 36-hour pilot. 

 

Thank Dog that both of these folks were in red. . . . .



CorvusCorvax #11 Posted 26 June 2022 - 02:16 PM

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View PostTrauglodyte, on 26 June 2022 - 04:54 AM, said:

 paste eating doorknob humping intelligence failure

The Prince of Potatoes has a nice ring to it, but the Sultan of Paste-Eating, Doorknob-Humping, Intelligence Failures is MUCH more descriptive.

:)


I might not be King of the Hill, but I am the Prince of Potatoes.

ItsSubmersible #12 Posted 26 June 2022 - 02:41 PM

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Now at a wonderful 19 game loss streak due to less than stellar teams/bots. I AM going to strafe ground targets in a light fighter. That may be the secret to winning apparently, and we are all stupid for thinking otherwise!

CorvusCorvax #13 Posted 26 June 2022 - 03:20 PM

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View PostItsSubmersible, on 26 June 2022 - 06:41 AM, said:

Now at a wonderful 19 game loss streak due to less than stellar teams/bots. I AM going to strafe ground targets in a light fighter. That may be the secret to winning apparently, and we are all stupid for thinking otherwise!

Time to go seal-clubbing to get your mojo back.


I might not be King of the Hill, but I am the Prince of Potatoes.

Trauglodyte #14 Posted 26 June 2022 - 03:56 PM

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View PostCorvusCorvax, on 26 June 2022 - 02:16 PM, said:

The Prince of Potatoes has a nice ring to it, but the Sultan of Paste-Eating, Doorknob-Humping, Intelligence Failures is MUCH more descriptive.
 

 

That is definitely not how I'd describe you, CC.  I will admit, though that I sometimes find myself putting on that crown (or fez, in the case of the Sultan).  Even the sharpest blade dulls on rocks.



Captain_Underpants53 #15 Posted 26 June 2022 - 04:20 PM

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View PostItsSubmersible, on 26 June 2022 - 09:41 AM, said:

Now at a wonderful 19 game loss streak due to less than stellar teams/bots. I AM going to strafe ground targets in a light fighter. That may be the secret to winning apparently, and we are all stupid for thinking otherwise!

lol

 

:medal:


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Captain_Underpants53 #16 Posted 26 June 2022 - 04:24 PM

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View PostCorvusCorvax, on 26 June 2022 - 09:16 AM, said:

The Prince of Potatoes has a nice ring to it, but the Sultan of Paste-Eating, Doorknob-Humping, Intelligence Failures is MUCH more descriptive.

:)

You can hump door knobs?!?!   Yee Haw!

 

:medal:


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Corsair4790805 #17 Posted 26 June 2022 - 06:19 PM

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I just came off a 5 game losing streak in the XP-75.   While not every loss was due to a superior red team or incompetent players on Blue, several will solid games by me that still went in the L column (including one with Hero of the Sky and Winged Legend).

 

It is beyond frustrating to see all the less than 500 battle pilots flying around at upper tiers with no clue as to what they should be doing and no (apparent) inclination to learn.

 

One pilot with 2200 battles and a sub 40% win rate said he knew the basics....and I'm like (thinking to myself), "Then DO them!".   When you have slightly more aerial kills than you have battles (and you're not flying exclusively GAA or Bombers) and half as many captures as you do battles, you are either intentionally NOT doing the basics or you just don't care.

 

Then again, I have been a potato more than once, even recently.  I have actually apologized to fellow pilots on my team when I do particularly poor.

 

 



CorvusCorvax #18 Posted 26 June 2022 - 08:20 PM

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View PostTrauglodyte, on 26 June 2022 - 07:56 AM, said:

 

That is definitely not how I'd describe you, CC.  I will admit, though that I sometimes find myself putting on that crown (or fez, in the case of the Sultan).  Even the sharpest blade dulls on rocks.

While win rate is not my end-all, be-all, I do at least try.  But when I do go full potato (you never go full potato), I really go for broke.

I usually know after the fact which decision(s) was(were) the wrong one(s).  And often, my YOLO attitude is where that starts.  If I stick to the plan I have in my head at the beginning, I can usually do really well and win, despite anything my team mates might or might not do.  But when I eff it and YOLO, POTATO TIME!


I might not be King of the Hill, but I am the Prince of Potatoes.

pedro1_3 #19 Posted 27 June 2022 - 01:15 AM

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I alredy posted this video, but it's just a mega potato play I made, so I need to post again.

Spoiler

 

But I basically chose to do the second best opening move for my plane in that situation, and them instead of continuing to go for the second 50 points group I just blunder it all on a head on and lose the game in 1 minute and a half.



CorvusCorvax #20 Posted 28 June 2022 - 12:38 AM

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Flying my Spitfire XVI, top tier.  I have a Ki-102 and a spec B-32 on my team, and we get a double-mining-plant, central airbase map.  The other team has an XP-55, an La-5 and a Tigercat.  I think - yay, I get to own the center and my B-32 guy will get the plants, the Ki-102 will defend one of them, and we will win.

 

B-32 guy goes right for the center and bombs the living feces out of it (and the wrench pad, too) and I finish it off to now own what amounts to an airfield.  If I had know what was going to transpire from there, I would have crashed and loaded back in with my Bf-109Z.  Or my own B-32.

The XP-55 and La-5 repeatedly tried to dig me out of the airbase, to no avail - due to them doing it separately, instead of together.  The B-32 then goes about bombing the Garrisons, leaving the plants to red.  The red Tigercat finally shoots down the B-32, and the B-32 guy quits out of the battle.  I go and kill the Tigercat guy and allow our guys to take one of the plants.  Our Ki-102 is helpfully protecting the garrison against GAA.  Thanks, bud!  Somehow, we got superiority for a bit.  Squall came, I shot down SO MANY PLANES and in the end, only the Tigercat was left on red, and me and some bots on blue.

In a draw.

Medals galore, but no win.  Just a giant pile of potatoes.
 


I might not be King of the Hill, but I am the Prince of Potatoes.




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