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just remeber i an not Amazing


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sandtiger #1 Posted 04 January 2019 - 08:02 PM

    Second Lieutenant

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    04-25-2011

Just remember

i am no hero

i am not Amazing

i am not cool

i get my self in trouble

i not a happy person right now

my life  is bad right now

thing are going bad

for my grandmother for those that care

i have a rough patch again

i am on edge ..this game put me in chat jail again because i messed up

 because i broke a rule it is my fault

do not fallow  in my foot steps it is a   bad

path... watch what you say always' someone  or the machine well take it the wrong way

i am not hero i am not a shaman

i am nothing.... do   not think of me as more the just like

any of you..  i am not Amazing i share my tails because

they are mine to share...  they are mine to give out as i see fit ...

i loved the many chat i had with many of you and have had a good time with world of war plane ...world of tanks ........... and.. world of battle ships

but of late this has been my place to de stress and to talk and in joy my time play with this game and the many people i have met on here

but of late my life has had some change... i lost four friends already this year and one person i knew that i meet down town ...

and my grandmother took ill and   is not doing so well some days she is great other

days she is very not with it  she is 99 and we are all worried about her .

i use to come here and talk and have a good time but now that i can not chat

because i messed up i not have as much fun and i not sure if i feel the say way as i once did about this game

i thank you for caring enough to ask me  how she was doing and for the many stories you have shared with

me ...

thank you blindfold for your help ... i real like the info you gave it helps ...

i well try do be a better human... but i still not happy with chat jail ...  i do think the system need some more  work

i know now what i did wrong and i well try never to do it again... but i can not say weather my stress well make me slip  i have a  Sailors mouth in real life lol but where i am  from  ... and the path life has give me...  also where i hung out for most my life it is common my friends and i find American cause words to be funny we laugh at them we do not get mad... so i will have to try a right that side of my brain

when play this game lol  because i tired of chat jail i get why war-games   dose it because of the little ones that play this game 

i forget that some times .. i try my best most days to not say bad words but some time when i do some thing boneheaded  or i have had a string of bugs when i fly with a wing man  and it start to get to me at times ... i slip up and well say a bad word at the game not people ...but i can see how to may people take every post as it is  about them when most the time it has nothing to do with them  .. but  we play with bots that talk so they may be talking to the bot .... but i can again see  how this can be take wrong 

so i am going to have to change my  way of try to be funny  or change my way of thinking  and talking

because i do not like chat jail  it works for me because i do not like it

it is not  a badge of honer it is a badge of shame and it show i am good at messing up  

i messed up my own life many times .. so i guess it only fair i mess up here

my PtSD got t me frustrated a lot for a long time i did not know i had it ...i was just mad all the time an had no clue 

what it was..  it come out some time when i do something dumb  it better then what i use to do with it... when i was in a underground fight club if you have ever seen fight club the movie ... then you know the rules our fights went by ... there was no mayhem...  there was only the club where people came and bet on us while we fought ..i was good at hurting  people it not some thing i was proud of it was not till i thought of my self as a chicken in a ring fight for life  that i got out of this club memory's from that time in my life still hunt me today

so i am no hero that word is for real hero vets of wars  people that did things for the right reasons 

not because they where watch there mother die for 6 years that is why i got in to the fight club i did bad things there

i did things that i not sure how to talk about ... but thank the powers that be for my  crash that killed me on the track there was never

a more deserving person then i....  so when some says   i am Amazing i always say no i am  not  or i am a hero   i am not i am nothing more then a person that has had an interesting life and i am  lucky to share it here

 but now it is time to think on what this game really is to me  because i spent many hours here have fun ..but these last few week have deleted that idea for now so i have to think what is next ...

to every one i made friends with thank you for your stories your help your kindness and for just being cool humans 

i not sure what is next for me  or if i well keep play or posting

there are to many things i have said that seem to have made people up set

so i going to think long and hard on how i go from here

 i more like  to not leave this game

but i not sure at this time

but at this time i am not 100% sure of that

bye bye for now

good luck to you in the sky of this game

and be careful what you say do not be like me an get thrown in chat jail it sucks 

one more badge of shame in my life yaaa :facepalm::(

 

 


Edited by sandtiger, 05 January 2019 - 03:50 AM.


Jack_Pelter_The_Chicken #2 Posted 04 January 2019 - 08:23 PM

    Master Sergeant

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    04-14-2017

Keep in there sand

Find another dream!


Edited by Jack_Pelter_The_Chicken, 04 January 2019 - 08:24 PM.


sandtiger #3 Posted 04 January 2019 - 08:34 PM

    Second Lieutenant

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    04-25-2011

 so from what i read my post like this one has got me in trouble

so this is my i a think about leaving



wscarter007 #4 Posted 04 January 2019 - 10:10 PM

    Senior Master Sergeant

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    10-31-2017
dang tiger your having a rough time there.  Hope you see better days soon. 

no_habla_ingles #5 Posted 04 January 2019 - 11:00 PM

    Master Sergeant

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    11-17-2013
hang in there ST no storm last forever the sun will come out

gerr22 #6 Posted 05 January 2019 - 04:25 AM

    Command Chief Master Sergeant

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    12-27-2013
stick around bud don t let them get you down

ShoeButton #7 Posted 05 January 2019 - 07:01 AM

    Master Sergeant

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    08-01-2013

Hold Fast Brother!

 

This Too Shall Pass...

 

I've Been There, 

Some Times you need the Escape, even if just for a Little While.

Don't let Life drag you to the Mat! Keep your feet moving!

 

-ShoeButton






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